Tune in and tune out

Your Sunday afternoon tv schedule:

1 pm NASCAR Sprint Cup Series: 3M Performance 400 from Brooklyn, Mich. Definitely taping this race. *writes reminder on post-it note* [ESPN]

2 pm Moto Gp from Brno. Czech it out, while I'll show myself out. [CBS]

3 pm AMA Superbike: Big Kahuna Nationals from Hawaii Virginia. [Speed Channel]

10 pm NHRA: Toyo Tires Nationals. Yeah, the Olympics are looking good right about now. Oh, hey pre-season football is on! [ESPN2]

For your viewing pleasure....

<"Trust me, Carl. Chicks will dig you if you stop letting your mom hang out with you constantly."

Trust there isn't nothing really much on motorsport wise:

3 pm NASCAR Nationwide Series: Carfax 250 from Michigan. This race is really hot! Not really. [ESPN2]

6 pm NHRA Qualifiyng from Reading, Pa. I'm sorry folks, but if it's something that involves reading I'm staying away from it. [ESPN2]

But, hey if you don't like this lineup theres always the Olympics, am I right? Right? Guys?

So thats why they call it the boob tube...

Your tv schedule for today (all times eastern):

In progress- Sprint Cup Series Final Practice from the Indianapolis Motor Speedway [ESPN2], Koni Challenge Series from Birmingham, AL [Speed]

4 pm- World of Outlaws from Eldora Speedway Rossburg, Ohio [Speed]

4:30 pm-NASCAR Nationwide Series Qualifying from Indianapolis Raceway Park [ESPN2]

5 pm- Indycar Series: Rexall Edmonton Indy from Edmonton, Canada [ESPN]

6 pm- CORR from Chula Vista, Ca [Speed], NHRA Qualifying from Somona, Ca [ESPN2]

6:30 pm- NASCAR Camping World East Series from Adironack Speedway in New York. [HDNet]

7:30 pm- NASCAR Nationwide Series: Kroger 200 from Indianapolis Raceway Park. [ESPN]

10 pm- AMA Motocross from New Berlin, NY. [Speed]

Don't touch that dial!

What to watch today while your friends try to figure out what is in your pants.

1 pm- F1 British Grand Prix. Fish and chips not included. [FOX]
3 pm- CORR from Pomona. [NBC]
3:30 pm- Indycar Series: Camping World Grand Prix at the Watkins Glen. Winner gets a nice tent. [ABC]
4 pm- World of Outlaws from Dodge City. *insert Cowboys joke here* [Speed Channel]
5:30 pm- GP2 from Silverstone. The stars of F1 tomorrow racing yesterday. [Speed Channel]
9 pm- Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain. Your guests tonight are Kasey Kahne and Gary Scelzi.

We'll do it live!

What to watch today as Chicago Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood shows his appreciation for the game to a national television audience...

Noon- NHRA Sportsman Series from Englishtown, NJ. Tape delayed action! [ESPN2]
1:30 pm- NASCAR Sprint Cup from Loudon, NH. A Canadian on pole, eh? [TNT]
2 pm- AMA Motorcross Lites from Mt. Morris, where ever the hell that is. [Speed Channel]
3 pm- Superbike World Championship from San Marino. [Speed Channel]
5 pm- MotoGP 250 from Assen, Netherlands. This race will leave you feeling pretty high. [Speed Channel]
6 pm- MotoGP World Championship. The Dutch Grand Prix from Assen, Netherlands. Winner will be payed in uncomfortable wooden shoes. [Speed Channel]
7 pm- NHRA from Norwalk, Oh. More tape delayed action! [ESPN2]
9 pm- Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain. Your guests tonight are Robin and Kevin Miller. No realtion. [Speed Channel]

Tune in and tune out...

What to watch today, while you try to constantly remove that smell.

2 pm- Koni Challenge Series from Mid-Ohio [Speed Channel]
2:30 pm- NASCAR Nationwide Series from Loudon, NH. The Cup drivers are back! Oh boy! [ABC]
4 pm- World of Outlaws from Dodge City. [Speed Channel]
6 pm- NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series Qualifying from Memphis. [Speed Channel]
8 pm- Indycar Series from Richmond. DANICA DANICA DANICA! [ESPN]
8:30 pm- Craftsman Truck Series Race from Memphis. Somebody will be singing the blues tonight. [Speed Channel]
10 pm- NHRA Qualifying from Norwalk, Oh. [ESPN2]
11:30 pm- AMA Motocross from Lakewood, Co. High flying action to put you to sleep. [Speed Channel]

Tune in and tune out

What to watch today while you play with your food:

1 pm- Indycar Race from Iowa. The winner gets paid in chicken feed. [ABC]
Also at 1- Formula 1 French Grand Prix. Exciting tape delayed action. [FOX]
4 pm- MotoGp from Donnington Park, England. [Speed Channel]
4:30 pm- NASCAR Sprint Cup Racing from Somona, Ca. Watch a stock car make a left and right turn. [TNT]
5 pm- CORR from Pomona, Ca. [Speed Channel]
8 pm- NHRA from Englishtown, NJ. They're doing it for Scott. [ESPN2]
9 pm- Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain. Your guests tonight are Scott Speed and Tommy Kendall. [Speed Channel]

What to watch today

What to watch today, while your kid heads off to work.

1 pm: Formula 1 Grand Prix of Canada. [FOX]
2 pm: NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Pocono 500 [TNT], MotoGp 250 from Spain [Speed Channel]
3pm: MotoGp from Spain [Speed Channel]
4 pm: AMA Superbike from Road America [Speed Channel]
5 pm: NHRA from Joliet, Il. [ESPN2]
6 pm: AMA Motocross from Rancho Cordova, CA [Speed Channel]
9 pm: Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain. Guests tonight include Sebastien Bourdais, Peter Windsor and Bob Varsha.

To watch today

What to watch today as you try to figure out the right way to use a gun
In Progress: F1 Qualifying [Speed Channel]
2:30 pm: Rolex Grand-Am Series: Six Hours of Watkins Glen- the finish. [Speed Channel]
3:30 pm: NASCAR Nationwide Qualifying from Nashville. [ESPN2]
5:00 pm: NHRA Qualifying from Joliet, Il [ESPN2]
5:30 pm: Sprint Cup Happy Hour from Pocono [Speed Channel]
7 pm: NASCAR Nationwide Series Race from Nashville [ESPN2]
9 pm: NACAR Camping World West Series from Dacono, Co [HDNet]
10 pm: Indycar Series from Fort Worth, Tx [ESPN2], ARCA/Remax Series from Pocono [Speed Channel]

To watch tonight

What to watch tonight after a hard day at work.

Up next: Truck Series from Texas [Speed Channel]

What do you mean theres nothing on?

What to watch today while you try to open up some canned bacon!

1:30 pm- NASCAR Sprint Cup Racing: Autism Speaks 400 from Dover. Time to tame the Monster Mile! [FOX]
2 pm- Superbike World Championship from Salt Lake City. [Speed Channel]
3 pm-AMA Supersport also from Salt Lake City [Speed Channel]
4 pm- Indycar Series: ABC Supply/A.J. Foyt 225 from Milwaukee. I bet a Honda will win today! Oh wait. [ABC], AMA Superbike once again from Salt Lake City [Speed Channel], NHRA: O'Reilly Summer Nationals from Topeka, KS. More chances for you to gaze at Ashley Force. [ESPN2]
8 pm- Movie: Days of Thunder. How would the NASCAR world react if Cole Trickle became a Scientologist? [CMT]
9 pm- Wind Tunnel with Dave Despain with special guests Humpy Wheeler and Brad Keselowski [Speed Channel]
10 pm-MotoGp from Mugello, Italy. The day never ends for you motorcycle enthusiasts. [Speed Channel]
10:45 pm-Movie: Dale. He won races on Sunday and fed the cows on Monday. Mooooo. [CMT]

Set remote to racing

What to watch today while you try to figure out what the noise coming from your closet is.

On Now- Firestone Indy Lights Freedom 100. The race was last week, but lets see who wins anyway! [ESPN 2], Sprint Cup Practice from Dover. Because one session already today wasn't good enough. [Speed Channel]

2:30 pm- NASCAR Nationwide Series from Dover. Defending winner Carl Edwards is on pole, if he wins he'll get an extra bale of hay for dinner. [ESPN2],
Prelude to the Dream preview. [Speed Channel]

3 pm- Star Mazda from Salt Lake City Utah. I waited two weeks for this, I'm pumped. [Speed Channel]
4 pm- World of Outlaws from Williams Grove, Pa. A car will probably flip. [Speed Channel]
5:30 pm- NHRA Qualifying from Topeka, Kansas. Yeah seeing this is taking place in Kansas just has me all excited. [ESPN2]
9 pm- AMA Motocross from San Bernardino, Ca. [Speed Channel]
10 pm- AMA Superbike, race 1 from Salt Lake City, Utah. [Speed Channel]
11 pm- Koni Challenge Series from Lime Rock, Ct. [Speed Channel]

Me can haz remote?

What to watch tonight as you try to find out what not to do with Sonic the Hedgehog tonight.

7 PM- Trackside at Dover with Tony "Smoke" Stewart and Joey "Sliced Bread" Lagano. [Speed Channel]
8 PM-NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series from Dover. Don't tell me who won! [Speed Channel]

Sit. Stay. Watch.

What to watch today as you try to figure out a more clever deal than this.

12 pm-Indy Lights Freedom 100. More racing, less rain. [Indycar.com]

12:30 pm- NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series from Mansfield, Ohio. I can't think of a more exciting thing than to go to Ohio. [Speed Channel]

1 pm- Sportscentury: Al Unser, Sr. [ESPN Classic]

2 pm- Classic Indy 500: 1987. Roberto Guerrero has this one in the bag. [ESPN Classic]

3 pm- Nationwide Series Qualifying from Charlotte. [Speed Channel]

4 pm- Classic Indy 500: 1991. Michael Andretti will win this one, trust me. [ESPN Classic]

5 pm- The 92nd Indy 500 Festival Parade. Ooooh I just love a parade. [ESPN2]

6pm- NASCAR Sprint Cup Happy Hour from Charlotte. [Speed Channel]

6pm- Classic Indy 500: 2005. Didn't Danica Patrick win that one? Can't remember, seemed like they talked a lot about her, so she must have won. [ESPN Classic]

7 pm- NASCAR Nationwide Series Carquest Auto Parts 300 from Charlotte. That "dreamy guy" in the picture is your defending winner. [ESPN2]

Woooo TV

To watch tonight:

8 PM- ARCA from Toledo. [Mav TV]

World of Outlaws from Charlotte [Speed Channel]

Sit down, shut up and enjoy the show.

Here's what you can watch while undressing your girlfriend with heavy machinery.

4 PM- Indy 500 Qualifying Day 3. Hot and heavy action just to get 12th place. [ESPN2]
6:15 PM- Pennzoil Victory Challenge. Those burnouts make me so dizzy. [Speed]
6:30 PM- NHRA Qualifying from Bristol, TN. Go down to Thunder Valley and ride the lightning! [ESPN2]
7 PM- NASCAR Sprint All-Star Race. This ain't no pro bowl. [Speed]

To watch tonight

While your your wife takes your dog for a walk, you can enjoy this fine programming tonight.

In progress- Sprint All-Star Race Qualifying. [Speed]
7:30 pm- NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series: North Carolina Education Lottery 200. Think of the children tonight. [Speed]
10:30 pm- Trackside with Humpy Wheeler action. [Speed]

What to watch tonight

After you wrestle away the remote from the pet monkey, you can tune over to Speed and watch the Sprint Pit Crew Challenge tonight at 9 pm eastern on Speed. Try to see if you can still remember one crew member's name by tomorrow.

Credit to Auto Racing Daily for the image.